Tales from Cheaters Tavern
Cheaters Tavern was the beating heart of Southie’s nightlife — a dark, loud, smoke-filled strip club where dreams came to die and new ones were born under pink and purple neon lights. Located on a gritty corner not far from The Dirty Spoon and The Rusty Nail, its big flashing sign read “CHEATERS TAVERN – Cold Beer • Hot Girls • No Judgment.”
It smelled of beer, perfume, desperation, and hope. And everybody in Southie knew: if you wanted to see real life, you went to Cheaters.
Why People Loved It
The girls were beautiful, the beer was cheap, and the regulars treated the place like their living room. You could be a dockworker, a made man, a cop off-duty, or a heartbroken salesman — everyone got the same service. The stage shows were wild, the music was loud, and the back booths held more secrets than City Hall.
The Many Weddings at Cheaters
Cheaters had more weddings than most churches in Southie.
The dancers loved getting married there. Many of them dreamed of being “rescued” from the stage. Over the years, at least seven girls walked down the makeshift aisle between the pool tables wearing white lingerie and veils.
The Most Famous Wedding (1987) Crystal “Candy” Malone (one of the headliners) married a regular named Frankie “The Brick” Sullivan right on stage. The best man was the DJ. The priest was a customer who used to be a seminarian. When the bride threw her garter, three guys got into a fistfight over it. Vinny “The Weasel” sent a case of champagne and a suspicious-looking gift basket.
The marriage lasted four months.
There were so many weddings that Pat (the owner) eventually made a rule: “No more weddings unless you tip the girls $200 each and buy a round for the house.”
The Divorces
Divorces at Cheaters were even more common than weddings.
The most legendary one was between Candy and Frankie. They held the divorce party at Cheaters six months after their stage wedding. They sat in the front row while Candy performed one last time “for old times’ sake.” Frankie cried into his beer. The entire bar gave them a standing ovation when they hugged and went their separate ways.
The girls on stage would often dedicate dances to “newly single kings in the front row.”
Crime at the Door & The Power of the Regulars
There was always trouble at the door — guys trying to sneak in without paying, drunks causing scenes, or rival crews trying to flex. But Cheaters rarely had big problems inside.
That’s because the regulars kept it safe.
You had:
- Big Mike – 6’5” ex-boxer bouncer who mostly stood there looking scary.
- The Tuesday Night Crew – A group of six Southie dockworkers who had been coming every Tuesday for fifteen years. They didn’t work for Pat, but they’d shut down any real trouble immediately.
- Off-duty cops who drank for free in exchange for keeping the peace.
- Vinny’s guys and Slick Eddie’s Vipers, who both had business interests there and didn’t want the place getting shot up.
One night in 1986, three guys from Dorchester tried to rob the place. Before Big Mike could even move, four regulars had already disarmed them. One robber got a broken nose from a beer mug thrown by a 63-year-old grandmother who worked as a waitress.
The Shotgun Behind the Bar
Like The Rusty Nail, Cheaters had “Big Bertha” — a 12-gauge under the bar. Pat only pulled it out once, during a particularly bad night in ’85. He racked it loudly and shouted, “Not in my house, boys!” The troublemakers left so fast they left their jackets behind.
Cheaters wasn’t classy. It wasn’t safe by normal standards. But it was theirs.
As one old regular famously said while watching a dancer perform:
“You come to Cheaters when your wife leaves you, when you win the lottery, when you’re happy, when you’re sad, or when you just need to remember you’re still alive. And somehow, the girls, the beer, and the regulars always make it feel like home.”
